Beware of Information Overload!
Your body and brain are changing like crazy right now—do you really need to know every little detail?
Terrified
I was paralyzed with fear. I had to give birth to a baby in 9 months out of my vagina?! The first thing I did was buy seven books; however, to my horror, it only increased my anxiety. Learning about everything that could go right, wrong, and all the decisions I would have to make along the way overwhelmed me until I dreaded my upcoming birth and wished I weren’t pregnant.
It’s okay.
Ask your doctor or midwife if you have any specific questions. What I mean by that is: don’t go searching the internet for general answers. Every pregnancy is different, and if there’s something wrong, it’s your care practitioner’s duty to care for you and your baby.
Where Is My Support?
Considering that women have been giving birth since the beginning of humanity, you’d think there would be a streamlined support and training regimen we’d be automatically added to. At the very least, I expected a monthly check-in with a professional to talk through the changes happening in my body and to receive some suggested activities for the upcoming month.
Well, for some strange reason, that’s not the way it works.
I was feeling helpless and unsupported.
So, if you’re feeling like that right now, you’re in good company. Read on for some of the things I did to survive and thrive during my pregnancy.
My Recommendations (What I Did):
Get Off Social Media
The algorithm on social media is designed to show you exactly what it thinks you want. While there are many incredible creators, if you’re feeling anxious, try staying off social media for a day or two and observe how you feel. Personally, I found that short videos were the most detrimental to my anxiety. These videos often trigger anxiety spirals more quickly than simple pictures due to their use of music and sound effects. Be cautious!
How to Break the Scrolling Habit
- Find alternative platforms for scrolling: Instead of scrolling through social media, choose something else to scroll through. For example, I browsed Amazon and added items to my baby registry. This activity put me in a dreamy and excited state. I didn’t actually purchase anything, but the act of adding items to the registry—thinking someone might buy them for me—satisfied my urge to scroll. (Pro tip: If you’re trying to limit your Amazon spending, remove your credit card from the account and add a gift card with a set spending limit instead.)
- Manage Automatic Video Playback: Turn off If you need to scroll, consider turning off the automatic video-playing feature. I have this setting disabled under the accessibility options on my phone. While I initially did this to reduce motion sickness, it also gives me a moment to ask myself, “Do I want a dose of anxiety right now?”
Stop Reading Books
Okay, you don’t have to stop reading books entirely, but if they are causing you anxiety, consider picking up something fun instead. During my pregnancy, I really enjoyed the Fourth Wing series. I had to stop reading the pregnancy books I purchased because they were overwhelming me with too much information and too many decisions. I found that my care practitioner asked me all the necessary questions anyway.
Books I Bought
Please note: These are affiliate Amazon links. Click here to read my affiliate links policy.
- Fourth Wing & Iron Flame: Who doesn’t want a little romantic fantasy in their life?
- Fourth Wing: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros on Amazon.ca
- Iron Flame: Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros on Amazon.ca
- We’re Pregnant! The First Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook: I bought this for my partner, knowing he doesn’t read… I set myself up for disappointment with that one, haha! It’s a small book with not much text on each page, which makes it a great bathroom book.
- The Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and Other Labor Companions: Another book I bought for my partner, but it’s definitely more of a comprehensive read. My mom ended up taking it home to read instead.
- The Birth Partner 5th Edition on Amazon.ca
- The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth: If you want information overload, buy this book. Every week introduces a new topic, making it overwhelming to keep up as life gets busier and fatigue increases. I also found some information not suitable for Canadians, which sowed unnecessary fear and anxiety. Thankfully, my doctor reassured me about the standard practices in Canada. I love to read, but this was too much information for me, so I wouldn’t recommend it unless you need lots of information to feel secure and confident.
Manage the Stories
“Thank you for sharing your experience with me,” is what I would say when people shared their birth stories. At first, I didn’t understand why everyone was eager to tell their stories. After giving birth, I now realize it’s because we’re proud of our accomplishments. Pregnancy and childbirth are challenging, so acknowledging someone by thanking them for sharing is a meaningful gesture. However, it’s important not to take their stories as fact, especially during the first trimester.
Set Low Expectations
To handle the influx of stories, I began identifying common themes, which helped me avoid being overwhelmed by frightening tales. Dramatic or gruesome stories often get shared unsolicited, while you might have to ask to hear uplifting ones. I set these low expectations for myself:
- My labor would last 32 hours.
- I would need all the pain medication available.
- I would need a C-section.
- I would lose a significant amount of blood.
- I would deliver in a hospital.
By setting low expectations, I wasn’t easily rattled by the stories I heard, protecting myself from sudden anxiety spikes. It also allowed me to prepare and ask my doctor specific questions. They say expectations and happiness are linked; realistic expectations can lead to a happier, calmer experience—which is what you want during labor.
Ask the Women You Admire in Your Life for Their Stories
I admire my mom deeply. Despite having a less supportive partner, she raised three strong, independent, caring women. Her own birth story wasn’t ideal; nothing went according to plan, and she had a C-section after a difficult labor where a doctor told her she wasn’t capable. She didn’t accept that and went on to have two more healthy babies vaginally, at home, in a pool (known as VBAC). She inspires me. Find people who inspire you, and if you don’t have anyone in your life, be inspired by my mom. Some women love giving birth and have such strong beliefs in their capacity that they defy the odds. Seek out their company.
Attend a Local Class
At the start of my second trimester, I stopped scrolling online and reading pregnancy books. Although I was managing my thoughts, I still sought additional support. I’m not entirely sure how I discovered it, but I found a prenatal class offered by Alberta Health Services (AHS) and decided it would be my source of support. These classes are taught by a nurse who is deeply familiar with the labor and postpartum unit. If you’re in Alberta, here is a link to sign up. (The signing-up process is a bit complicated, but it’s worth it!)
Bring Your Partner or Support Person
My partner and I took the AHS course, and it was the single most effective and helpful thing we did. We received the same information, but each of us retained different details, which made us a great team. Additionally, the course helped clarify some goals and decisions we needed to make, such as the level of intervention we wanted and our feeding strategy. It also normalized certain pregnancy complaints.
What About a Virtual Option?
While I understand the convenience of a virtual option, I highly recommend attending in person if possible. Why?
- You’ll meet other couples in your area going through the same experiences.
- These couples will ask different questions, leading to deeper discussions.
- Learning about hospital procedures specific to your location helps clear up confusion. I found that much of the information on social media and in books was geared toward the American health system. For instance, at the Red Deer hospital, certain procedures are standard, so there’s no need to include them in a birth plan or advocate for them. For example, they practice immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth and delayed cord clamping. Taking a class in the area where you’ll be giving birth ensures that you receive information pertinent to your location, allowing you to prepare your birth plan accordingly.
Practicing These Thoughts Helped Me
- Some people love giving birth.
- Giving birth is like running a marathon.
- The information that I need to know will present itself.
- I ask/look for help when I need it.
Conclusion
You know yourself the best and every pregnancy and birth is different. Be mindful of where you get your information. You are supported. Pregnancy is hard but you’re rocking it!
Until next time,
– CL
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